Peter Pan Syndrome: Signs, Causes & Treatment
Millions of parents have read the story of Peter Pan to their children at bedtime, but who knew some kids would turn fiction into reality because they become adults who don’t want to grow up? Peter Pan Syndrome can cause tremendous difficulties for a person in the throes of it. Parents of adult children with Peter Pan Syndrome struggle to understand why their kids don’t transition into adulthood and its responsibilities, but continue to want to live in a childlike state. Instead of having yet another argument with someone who is like this, it might be time to seek professional help to alleviate the symptoms of this condition. The Meadowglade offers residential and outpatient options for people who need help easing symptoms of mental health disorders that can contribute to the desire not to grow up.
Learn more about our Southern California mental health programs or all us now at 888-272-2062 or verify your insurance now.
What is Peter Pan Syndrome?
Peter Pan syndrome, also known as “failure to launch”, is not an official diagnosis but a psychological term for adults who do everything in their power to avoid taking on adult responsibilities. Instead of leaving home at 18 or after college, they often want to stay in their childhood bedrooms and avoid getting a job, completing an education, and becoming financially responsible. The individual might go from job to job or work the bare minimum, but has no realistic plan for making a living while maintaining their own home and paying their bills.
People with Peter Pan Syndrome often cause frustration and bewilderment to their parents, other family members, and friends. They do everything they can to avoid becoming a fully autonomous adult, even to their own detriment. As far as they are concerned, “adulting” is too hard, and they are willing to avoid it at all costs.
The term “Peter Pan Syndrome” was coined in a book by Dr. Dan Kiley in 1983. However, it is hard to determine exactly how many people have this condition because most of the studies are out of date due to changes in cultural norms, more women in the workplace, and so on.
Signs of Peter Pan Syndrome
Symptoms of Peter Pan Syndrome are similar for both women and men, but some differences do occur. For example, many women look for a partner who can fulfill a father-figure role, including paying the bills
Men tend to try to avoid or minimize how they feel and avoid long-term relationships. They may also seek female partners who serve as a mother figure, helping them stay rooted in their childlike patterns. They feel satisfied knowing someone is there to keep them safe from life and adult responsibilities while they continue to live in an adolescent manner.
What Causes Peter Pan Syndrome?
There isn’t a singular reason people develop Peter Pan syndrome, but certain situations can influence its development. Parents who raise their children in a sheltered situation where they have zero responsibilities are more prone to reject the idea of growing up and taking responsibility for themselves. Additionally, experiencing a traumatic event at a young age can cause a person to want to avoid growing up because they still crave the shelter of someone to care for and save them.
Social media, in particular, presents the world as idyllic when a person is young and living their dream without necessarily creating the support system that sustains it.
How is Peter Pan Syndrome Treated?
Getting to the heart of why someone feels compelled to live as a child or teenager includes participating in different types of therapy. They help the individual understand and disarm their triggers to avoid growing up, and show them the benefits of living like an adult. Common types of therapy include:
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
- Dialectical Behavioral Therapy
- Individual Therapy
- Group Therapy
- EMDR
- Psychological Diagnosis
- Equine Therapy
- Family Therapy
- Holistic Therapy
- Stress Reduction Therapy
- Psychiatry + Medication Management
- Education & Career Counseling
Some people with Peter Pan Syndrome benefit from using prescription medications that help minimize symptoms such as anxiety, depression, moodiness, and more.
Levels of Care Used to Treat Peter Pan Syndrome
Programs that treat Peter Pan syndrome offer different levels of care. Residential plans require the person to live temporarily in a facility while undergoing round-the-clock care. Outpatient plans can be done while the person still lives in their home, and include Partial Hospitalization Programs, Intensive Outpatient Programs, and Outpatient Programs.
How to Help an Adult Child Who Has Peter Pan Syndrome
Parents often want to keep their children little as long as possible, but at some point, everyone grows up. What many parents don’t expect is a child who fights growing up as hard as possible. If a child avoids responsibility, parents can talk to them to help their kid process the idea that how they live is not sustainable or healthy.
If a child has Peter Pan Syndrome, there are ways to offer them help. If they still live at home, the parents can establish clear-cut rules and boundaries, such as working a minimum number of hours or attending college. A deadline for achieving this can be set. Parents can set an amount of rent to be paid, and expect their child to contribute to household chores, like laundry, cleaning house, and yard maintenance.
Moms and dads should hold their child responsible for not following the rules of the house or bringing in an income. If needed, a deadline can be set for their child to move out if they aren’t willing to follow their parents’ requests. It’s important to keep in mind that making excuses for a child only hurts them in the long run. Parents should not enable their behavior or let deadlines run out without the child being held accountable.
Begin Treatment for Peter Pan Syndrome at The Meadowglade
The Meadowglade offers complex and compassionate care for people struggling with mental illnesses like depression that can contribute to them developing Peter Pan syndrome. We offer a roster of therapies that teach people how to cope with life’s challenges and the resulting emotions and thoughts that come from them. We work with adults who experience extreme resistance to taking on adult responsibilities. With our assistance, they learn to embrace things like career, following a budget, and planning for the future.
Contact us now to get more information about our levels of care. Get the help you or someone you know needs today.